If you thought that Spiderman had a tough time defeating the likes of Octopus and other villains of the “Marvel Comics” universe, then wait till you hear of his Turkish hiking adventures. The Turkish adaptation of the famous web shooting, masked hero is nothing short of FUCKING AWESOME. Its one of those rare flicks that gain a huge cult following, by being so unintentionally bad.
Why, yes, thats Spiderman and Captain America having a blast. Going at each other, in what seems to be one of the most epic fighting scenes in the history of motion pictures. “3 Dev Adam” (loosely translated to “The 3 mighty man”, because the ability to drive a car is mighty as hell) strikes the viewer as a mix between bollywood’s cinematic portrayal of a huge brawl, a bad 70’s porno (musically as well as visually) and some “Bud Spencer and Terence Hill” like fighting scenes thrown in for good measure. Now many things are totally awesome about this movie, like the constant sexual imagery, spiderman’s DIY costume, his badass superpowers (he can drive a car… whoooooo) or his really bushy eyebrows (lots of testosterone, mind you), but one thing is particularly striking. Roll out to 2:14 and you’ll witness one of the most grotesque scenes to be captured on a camera. In an act of utter sadism and madness, spiderman decides to torture this poor chap, who’s face is attached to a tube, by making way for some mutated killer rodents to enter the pipe, ultimately resulting in the most horrific demise known to mankind. Fucking intense.
But behold, there is more to come. Turkish trash-cinema has much more to offer. Next up, “Turkish Star Wars”.
This film is not even remotely based on Star Wars, although it features inter-galactic fighting scenes (or what, at least, looks like inter-galactic fighting scenes. There is only this much achievable when you are working with a budget that equals to a fifth grader’s weekly spending limit…), explosions, monsters (they look like those freaks out of “the wickerman” opening…) and a well developed protagonist…. Well, about that last one. Sorry, I lied about that. All character development in this movie was ditched in favour of… ahmm… a training montage?? Yes, check out that bitching training montage, fucking fierce!
“OMG its an extraterrestrial life form. Whoooooo areeee youuuuuu and how can I underst-. Uh.. Hang on a second, its just a midget wearing some kinda condom-like outfit. Its allright Ma’ we don’t have to sacrifice the kids any more.” How could anyone, anywhere on this earth, ever be afraid of a freaking midget in a rubber costume. I mean, come on, seriously?
The last one of the bunch, “Turkish Superman”. No comments on this one, I’ll leave it up to you…
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